8 Kasım 2010 Pazartesi

AFTER A FANTASTIC DAY

It was a sunny afternoon in Zonguldak (şehir değiştirilebilir). The sun was shining outside, the sea was smart like a bed sheet; the birds were flying and crowing as if they were singing, and I was preparing a perfect breakfast for my family. We all were in the positive mood that the day had given to us. At the table, we were making jokes each other, laughing, talking ... We were so happy. My father and my mother had a plan including going to seashore, camping out. So happy to hear that, my sisters and I immediately began to prepare for that wonderfull day we would spend...


I put my the best warmest clothes for night which we would spend there. My sisters also prepared her packback. My mother prepared delicious food and she also prepared drinks and she put them in a big basket. At the same time, my father was interested in tecnical things like checking our car, our tempt which was huge and colorful like objects of a carnaval. We set off after everything was ready. The place which we went was very freshful and it had clear atmosphere. Sea was very calm and many seagulls were flying above it. At such a nice place we spent good time like talking with each member of the family,telling stories which were horror,funny,playing games... At last the night finished and we had a nice night. After all we started to get ready to go home,we picked our equipment and put them into the car.

We got in our car after all preperations. Just as we were about to go,the weather immediately turned into redness.The sun escaped its hole ,the trees’ leaves were shaking rhtmly and the birds were singing as a group.There weren’t any animals out as if they predicted the incoming disaster and I could hear something approaching us , but I could not see anything.My family was supposed to understand what I felt ,so they left the car and looked out a scare in their eyes like me. We were all loking the incoming disaster. The clouds turned into black while everything were going well. Following that raining started slowly and it speeded up more and more. Waves started to occur in the sea with the shirply wind. A yatch which had a tour with tourists was going to right and left and we were feeling the hurry of people from here. At that time also we found safetly place to stay in with the other people who were camping like us. Something were getting worse at the yatch, it was clear that the yatch was out of control. The sea was playing with yatch as if a child had played with her toy. At last the yatch ditn’t put up with and listed. We couldn’t do anything but watching what was going on. Soon, storm began to lose its effectiveness and some people were trying to swim to the seashore in order to save themselves.


Finally coast guard had arrived when the storm was calm down and there were two ambulance for injured. Fortunately there was no dead after this destructive storm. We took a comfort breathe when we arrived at home but this storm effected all of us because we had never seen such a big storm at close range. I will never forget that day!



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Sema DİPİ
Merve DÖNMEZ
Ender DEMİRCİ

4 yorum:

  1. my friend , thanks for adding the essay.. i'm trying to get better :/

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  2. Bu yorum yazar tarafından silindi.

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  3. Hi friends; Our grade is 90.
    Creativity= 25
    Language= 15 There is a conflict in this sentence.” I put my the best warmest clothes…”
    There are some grammer mistakes.
    ”My sisters also prepared her packback…”.
    “ Something were..”
    " There were two ambulance …” Sensory details are perfect!
    Cohesion/Coherence= 25
    Overall impression =25 It was such a fluent writing that if there was more to read we would go on reading.We liked your essay. Thank you for writing.

    SONAY AKÇADAĞ
    FERHAT AK
    MEHMET AKTAŞ
    CANSU ARGAN

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  4. Your sentences are good and effective.Some spelling mistakes :
    storm began to lose(loose)

    The general organization is good.
    Creativity= 25
    Language= 15
    Cohesion/Coherence= 25
    Overall impression =25
    Our grade is 90,also.

    Seda Duruyol,Ayşen Erarslan,Evrim Ertay,Sebahattin Ergün

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